Reply #17: Sounds Like Peer Pressure [View All]

[KharmaTrain]

Sounds like your son may be starting to get a worldview from others...and through trying to gain acceptance from friends, he's exert some "independence". While many of us at 13 said things or thought things that we later look at as being "dumb" and "stupid", it's also an age where minds can be opened and shut.

I started to become a lot more active in son's life when he reached that age...seeing how he was both starting to change, mature and looking at me in a different way than he did when he was younger. We started to do things that we didn't when he was younger...going to museums, plays, movies and other things that would stimulate his curiosity...open up his world to both the good and bad and be ready to discuss when something came to his mind. My big thing was to always listen...hear what he thought and challenge him to think on several levels...the first real steps of becoming a critical thinker. I never said my opinions were right, nor was anyone else...but that he should learn for himself, and if he needed someone to talk to, I'm always here.

My wife, whose studied Child Pyschology, would probably say his language is a sign of rebellion and attempting to assert his own identity...and a major part of this is to be accepted by his peers or by anyone who will listen. I'd keep an eye on his friends and see if you can see where the influences in his life is coming from. He might still think you are treating him like a little child and this may be the door to open his world, and yours, a little wider.